


Potential

by DarthAstris



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (Don’t worry it’s not nearly as graphic or detailed as my usual stuff! I promise!), Appropriate Use of the Force, Back-To-Back Fighting, Blood, Emotional Manipulation, Enemies to Friends, Hux Being Brilliant And Capable, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Murder, Past Child Abuse, Survival, Violence, XD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 07:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20617004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthAstris/pseuds/DarthAstris
Summary: Hux has a secret.  He also has a chance to do away with his biggest rival.  But, will he?(Written for the 2019 Kylux Reverse Bang (KBB) and inspired by the art and prompt of the lovely and talented DargasonArts! Twitter: @DargasonArts)





	Potential

**Author's Note:**

> There is very brief mention of past child abuse, domestic violence, and molestation, so please be aware. (I promise it’s nothing as graphic as my usual work, though! XD )

Chapter 1

***29 ABY***

The dropship rattled and creaked as it descended through the upper atmosphere of the nameless planet. Only two men sat in the troop carrier, locked into crash harnesses and stealing furtive glances at one another with every lurch and rumble. 

Hux knew Kylo was looking at him – even with his eyes hidden behind that ridiculous mask – sizing him up, looking for some sign of weakness or fear in his companion, but Snoke’s newest apprentice was fooling no one with that preposterous apparatus, least of all, Hux.

While it had been some time since he’d been sent planetside for a mission, Hux was far too familiar with the intricacies of flight to be bothered by a few bumps on the way down. Kylo, on the other hand, seemed a bit concerned, though his hands gripping the crash harness were the only indication. Strange, given what a crack pilot he supposedly was.

_He doesn’t like not being in control…_

Kylo glanced his way, and then Hux felt his attention drift elsewhere.

There were no windows in the transport, but Hux could tell when they’d finally passed through the roiling cloud cover; the ship stilled and descended much more smoothly, despite its gut-dropping speed. Hux clicked the release for his harness and stood just before the transport’s landing gear locked down and settled. He had his pack shouldered and his blaster pistol powered up and in hand before the loading ramp had even descended.

He glanced over his shoulder at Kylo. “Coming?”

Kylo stood and lumbered up beside him, bringing nothing but the clothes he had on and the lightsaber on his belt.

Hux’s lip curled. “If you think you’re sharing my rations and bedroll you’re—”

“I’ll get my own food.”

“Suit yourself,” Hux snorted. He fidgeted with the collar of his envirosuit. He’d grown a bit since the last time he’d worn it, but his colonels’ teals would have stood out too much in an unknown and possibly hostile environment. 

He’d been right, too; a seemingly untamed forest of orange and magenta trees sprawled out before them. Their massive, misshapen trunks jutted out from the ground, curling around each other in a struggle to reach the dim light that filtered through the clouds. The purple-gray sky churned above them, disgorging flurries of a dusty, snow-like precipitation. Hux raised his scanner and hummed.

“I thought you were staying with the ship?” Kylo said after they’d wandered part way into the woods.

“I would have, but I knew once we entered orbit that the scanners on a dropship couldn’t penetrate—” he held up his hand to collect some of the powdery, gray material from the leaf of a tree, “—whatever this is.” He rubbed it between his fingers and it vanished into finer dust particles. It wasn’t radioactive, or dangerous, according to the _Finalizer’s_ scans, but it contained some element that interfered with long-range transmissions. “So, it’s close-range scans only.”

Of course, he was also here because the Supreme Leader had specifically instructed him to be. To watch over his new pet. To test him.

Kylo grunted in lieu of a civilized answer. Hux sighed and rolled his eyes. 

_Why do I even bother?_

After a few more minutes, Kylo replied. “I don’t need your scanners.”

“And what if this… whatever it is you’ve been sent to look for, is buried under 20 meters of rock? Or 100?”

“The Force will guide me.”

It was Hux’s turn to scoff.

“Is it guiding you now?”

“Yes.”

Hux held out the scanner and adjusted it to search for man-made mineral compounds. The readout wavered but displayed a flickering mass about 20 kilometers away in the direction they were currently trekking. _The mountain range we saw from orbit…_ It appeared that they were indeed headed in the correct direction.

For now.

Chapter 2

“Ren, we’re being followed.”

Ren stopped and turned, not to look at Hux, but to extend his senses to their surroundings. The forest remained shadowy and still. Gnarled branches, laden with broad leaves, blocked most of the powdery ash that continued to fall. Insects buzzed, and some sort of unseen, avian creatures chirped a mournful _weehoo_ from time to time, but nothing large enough to be a threat lumbered through the underbrush. At least, nothing louder or more threatening than Ren. 

Kylo frowned. His eye twitched. He shifted his helmet in his hands. “There’s nothing out there. Some animals, maybe.”

Hux bounced his pack back onto his shoulder and triple-checked his scanner, although he already knew that it wasn’t going to turn up anything with all of this environmental interference. The ash acted like snow, muffling their senses like a soft blanket. But something was out there, stalking them. He could feel it.

He’d been followed, watched, harassed enough in his life to know how that felt.

A shiver rolled up his spine. Whatever it was, it had its sensors on them right now. It was close. Hux frowned and smacked the side of the scanner. A large blip appeared in the thermal readout, but not long enough for him to get a sense of what it could be. “I’m telling you, there’s something out there.”

Ren took another crunching step then paused. “I don’t hear anything.”

“Well how could you, with all the racket you’re making, stamping about like you own the place?”

“Who’s being loud now?”

Hux sneered, but swallowed down his retort. He took a deep breath, pressed his lips together, and exhaled slowly through his nose. Lowering his voice, he continued, “It’s going to be dark soon. We need to find shelter. 

“We’re almost there.”

“You said that two days ago.”

“I’m not sleeping in a tree again.”

“It’s the safest place to be. You’re just upset because you fell out—”

“I didn’t fall!” Ren shouted, louder than he’d intended. “I was looking for—”

“For what?” Hux smirked.

“For… I thought we were being—”

“Followed?” His smirk widened into a grin.

“Well, we weren’t! And we aren’t! So, come on!” Ren turned and stomped away, leaving Hux to his small victory.

Still uneasy, Hux picked up his pace to catch up, but not _too_ quickly. He couldn’t let Ren know that he’d actually been spooked.

Half an hour later, when it was apparent that Kylo had no intention of stopping, Hux cleared his throat.

Ren glanced over his shoulder. “What?”

“I said, we either need to find, or make, shelter. We have less than 20 minutes of daylight left, now.”

“Fine. What do you need?”

Hux frowned. Of course Ren expected him to do all the work. He sighed. It was just as well. He didn’t really trust Ren to do a good job of it anyhow. “One or two long, sturdy branches, combinable so that they are longer than we are tall, and four to six shorter ones, about arm’s length. I can make a small lean-to, and weave vines and other branches through the scaffolding.”

Ren watched him carefully, actually listening for once.

Hux gestured as he described the shelter, and Kylo nodded and set off into the darkening woods. Hux set his pack down, drew his knife, and began rummaging through the underbrush for fresh vines and dried, fallen leaves. He dug a long, shallow trench, filled it with the crispy leaves to retain warmth (and for comfort), and rolled his bedroll out over it. Ren’s saber crackled to life in the distance, thrumming and spitting as it carved through whatever unlucky tree he’d selected. 

Kylo returned, floating the stack of requested wood out in front of him. He dropped it at Hux’s feet. The clatter could have alerted predators, but if all Ren’s crashing about hadn’t already done so, they were probably safe. He watched, arms folded, until he more clearly realized what Hux was trying to do, then reached out to hold the crossbar branches in place with the Force while Hux balanced out the pyramidal scaffolding and secured it with a few thin vines.

Once finished, Hux stood back to appreciate his work. He gave the sides a gentle push to be sure it would stand up under the light breeze that sometimes wafted through the trees. It rattled, but held firm.

“Bit small, don’t you think?” Ren eyed the lean-to.

“It won’t be comfortable, but it will keep us warm.”

“So you do intend to share it, then.”

“Only because it will be warmer with two.”

“Mm-hmm. 

“Shut up, Ren.”

Kylo chuckled. 

“Just… get in already. And try not to knock it all down with your oafish ways.”

Kylo squeezed his bulk into the tiny opening with surprising grace, only shaking the structure once as his oversized feet pushed against Hux’s pack at the back of the shelter. Hux tossed a few more leaves over the sides, and, once satisfied, crawled in beside Kylo. It was a tight fit. Kylo’s chest would be pressed to his back all night, but… Hux couldn’t say he really minded. Kylo burned like a furnace, and his proximity, though somewhat threatening, also felt comforting, safe. So much untamed power flowed through that thick frame. The mere thought of it stirred parts of Hux that rarely received attention.

Kylo pulled the closure shut with the Force, sealing them into darkness. 

A muscular arm fell over Hux’s waist.

He tensed.

“Sorry. I, uh… don’t have anywhere to put my arm.”

“It’s fine,” Hux said, after waiting to be sure his voice wouldn’t crack.

It wasn’t as though they hadn’t slept together before, but this was different. Somehow more intimate than just a quick fuck and a retreat to the safety of their own quarters.

Hux would have said something more, but Ren was already snoring in his ear. 

It was going to be a long night.

Chapter 3

Hux woke to the crisp coldness of morning, alone in the lean-to. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stretched as much of the pain from his back as he could before crawling out of their makeshift hut.

Kylo knelt at the edge of their small clearing, hands upturned and resting on his thighs. 

Silent. 

Shirtless.

Hux wanted to say something, but the sight of that broad, powerful back and those wide shoulders, with their bunched muscles whispering of violence, took his breath away. He swallowed, hard, and set about quietly packing his bedroll and dismantling their shelter. 

A fire dwindled in a pit nearby, and in it, three small, skewered animals roasting over the open coals. It smelled pretty good, actually, though Hux would never admit it. That kind of food turned his stomach. He fished out a ration bar from his pack, and his collapsible cup, and poured himself some of the steaming tea that had been steeping in the small kettle next to the fire. He smiled as the hot bitterness soothed his throat. Ren had made his favorite, either by chance or intent. Perhaps this was Ren’s way of making up for being so obstinate all the time.

“Morning,” he said, without turning to look over his shoulder. 

“Good morning,” Hux replied, taking another sip of tarine. “I see you’ve been busy.”

“Help yourself.”

Hux wasn’t sure if the comment was meant to be sarcastic, as he’d obviously already availed himself of the tea. He decided on a curt, “Thank you,” instead, preferring to keep the peace as long as possible. What was supposed to have taken a day had stretched into three, he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being stalked, and his patience was on a laser’s edge.

“We’re close, now. I can sense it.”

Hux stifled his response with another sip of tea.

Kylo stood, brushed off his leggings, and pulled his tunic from the tree knob on which it had been hanging. “Today.”

Hux sighed into his cup, and downed the last of the tea before he said something he’d regret for the rest of the day. “Well, then,” he finally said, swallowing a bite of protein bar and packing away the empty kettle, “let us be on our way.” 

Kylo nodded and scooped up the meat skewers, gnawing on one as he stretched out a hand and dispersed the branches and leaves they’d used with a potent gust of Force power. Hux helped to cover up the bits of wood that showed burn marks from Kylo’s lightsaber, and spread the leaves out more evenly over the space they’d occupied. With the fire doused and covered, it looked like any other part of the undisturbed underbrush. Hux took the final bite of his breakfast and smiled, satisfied with their teamwork. 

He leaned over to pick up his pack, but it floated out of reach.

“I’ll carry it,” Ren said, and turned to walk away without another word.

Hux stood, stretched his aching back a bit more, and watched Kylo depart. It wasn’t like him to be so helpful. 

Perhaps it was time for him to reassess the wild warrior.

After another hour or two of uneventful, quiet hiking, the forest fell away to reveal a gravelly clearing at the foot of a large, craggy mountain range. Even though he’d felt slightly crowded by the trees, being out in the open like this raised the hairs at the nape of his neck. Everything had become eerily silent again, blanketed by the still-falling ash. He didn’t want to seem afraid in front of Ren, but he felt like he should activate the camouflage emitters on his envirosuit. It was a work in progress, something he’d begun designing in his cadet years but hadn’t had much time to work on. The suit was designed to refract light in such a way as to render the wearer nearly invisible to the naked eye, causing them to blend into their surroundings. If he’d pulled the hood all the way up and fastened the mask and goggles, he would have all but disappeared from sight. But that would seem foolish, perhaps, so he settled on simply activating the suit. 

_Testing it out. Yes. That’s all. Besides, a little caution never harmed anyone._

He smiled as Ren turned to say something and did a double-take at Hux’s floating head.

“That’s… interesting,” he commented, eyebrow raised. “That dust is gonna give you away sooner or later, though.”

Hux looked down, seeing rocks and gravel and a faint outline where his arms and shoulders should have been. “Still working out the kinks.” He frowned and brushed the ash away.

Kylo stopped in front of a large boulder. “It’s in here.” He gestured to what looked like a solid wall of rock, but as Hux approached the landscape shifted, revealing the optical illusion of a stone wall.

“After you,” Hux extended an arm toward the obfuscated cave.

Ren ignited his saber and walked forward, head down, shoulders hunched. Hux smirked a bit. The cave was tall and wide enough that they could have strolled through it normally. Kylo was spooked, too. Hux didn’t know whether to be relieved or further agitated by that.

When they came to the first fork in the tunnel, Hux paused. Ren had stopped, and it looked as though he were having difficulty deciding which path to take. Hux had been shivering ever since they’d descended into the damp cave. Perhaps there was some sort of Force nexus here, strong enough to confuse Ren’s senses. “We should mark our path,” Hux offered.

Kylo nodded and slashed into a boulder, leaving a steaming trail of glowing, melted rock. “Will that do?”

“Quite.”

They forged ahead.

Before long, the tunnels truncated at the edge of a deep chasm that extended as far and as deep as their meager light revealed, and likely much farther beyond.

“Did we take a wrong turn?”

“No.” Kylo extended his saber out over the pit, pointing to a spot on the wall across the way. 

Hux squinted. He could just make out an ancient-looking lever embedded in the stone.

Kylo closed his eyes and concentrated. The lever trembled and shifted, and the cave walls lurched and rumbled. Kylo reached out with his free hand to catch Hux, in case he lost his footing. Hux, again, furrowed his brow in confusion. Wouldn’t it have made Ren’s life easier if he’d tumbled to his death below?

_Does he really… care? About me?_

Hux chewed over that thought like an akk dog worrying at a bone, while a bridge of floating boulders appeared before them. Ren pressed forward fearlessly, stepping out onto the precariously hovering stones. 

Hux didn’t have any particular fear of heights, but he had no wish to drop into a seemingly bottomless pit. The thought that Ren wouldn’t let him fall, however, made it easier to follow on behind him, no matter how the rocks tilted and dipped with his weight.

The cave across the chasm widened into a cavern, and then something resembling an antechamber. The architecture was blocky, primitive, worn-down by millennia of the mountain’s weight, but still discernible. Sith. Hux recognized the jagged symbols and chiseled, angular faces carved into the stone. 

In the distance, a faint light flickered.

Hux shivered. 

Ren handed Hux his rucksack and approached the light source with his usual lack of caution, but Hux hung back, trying to scan and record the peculiarities of the atmosphere for posterity. The instrument’s display warped and skipped even worse than it had outside. Grumbling, he jammed it back into a pocket on the side of his pack.

As they neared the glowing object on the pedestal, Hux felt even more wary. The fist-sized crystal pulsated with an eerie green light. Ren dug under his belt and pulled out a black, velvety, drawstring sack, embroidered with some sort of Sith enchantment. With slightly more care than he’d exercised thus far, he stretched out the opening and swept it down over the orb, snatching it up and tying it off in one smooth arc.

Just before he’d covered it, though, a screaming face had appeared, its mute agony refracted hundreds of times in the facets of its crystalline cell. Hux jumped. It was a slight start, but enough that Ren noticed and frowned at him. “What?”

“There’s someone in there.”

Ren’s frown deepened. “Of course there is. It’s a Sith soul snare.” He regarded Hux with a look of intense scrutiny as he tied the sack next to where his helmet hung from his belt. “You… saw it?” 

Hux shuddered. “Only for a moment.”

“Huh,” Ren grunted, and narrowed his eyes at him once more before he turned to leave. “Come on, Colonel. Let’s get out of here.”

Hux took one last look around the vast cavern. Fear whispered in his ear and prickled his skin. He hurried to follow Ren out.

But not _too_ fast.

Chapter 4

Hux remained deep in contemplation as they followed Ren’s saber marks back to the cave entrance. He’d had several opportunities to do away with this young man, his chief rival, and prove his worth to the Supreme Leader. Yet, he’d taken none of them.

He could have snatched the soul snare from Ren’s belt and pushed him into that chasm, bringing the precious artifact back on his own and reaping all of the praise. 

But he hadn’t.

Now that Ren had given him the crystal to put away into his pack for safekeeping, he could simply slash Ren’s throat in his sleep one night as they made their way back to the shuttle.

But he knew that he wouldn’t.

He didn’t even know what made him cry out a warning, as Ren crossed the threshold of the cavern. 

But he did.

Ren’s head snapped back, a second too late. Rocks tumbled down from the entrance. One sharp stone smashed into Ren’s head, knocking him off balance. Hux abandoned his pack and bolted toward him, pistol already in hand. He pressed his back against Ren’s for support. Glancing about, he let his senses guide his hand.

“Don’t fracking say it,” Ren growled, scanning the tree line for his attacker. 

“Say what?” Hux smirked. Ren couldn’t see it, but he could hear it in his tone.

  


Something moved in the shadows. Hux fired. Two of his bolts disappeared into the trees, but the third came blazing back toward them.

“Look out!” Hux shouted, but Ren had already extended his hand, freezing the bolt in place. Hux had only a moment to be impressed before a lightsaber spun out from a crevasse above them, slashing through Ren’s shoulder and down his side as he tried to dodge. The blaster bolt shuddered and escaped its hold. It slammed into Ren’s side, dropping him to his knees.

_Two attackers! We’re flanked!_

Hux recognized the hilt and hue of the saber before it was yanked back into the waiting hand of the hooded assailant dropping down on them. 

_Kaa-dan._

His sister, Dan-kaa, wouldn’t be far behind.

A blaster would be useless against them.

In the span of one, calming breath, Hux opened his mind and felt the Force flow through him, warming him like the embrace of a long-lost mother. He dropped down, traded his blaster for Ren’s saber in the dirt, ignited it and blocked Kaa-dan’s assault with the sputtering blade, then rolled to safety. He reached his free hand toward the cave and his pack rustled open, freeing his own saber to fly to him. The orange blade sparked to life, as steady as the day he’d crafted it. He whirled just in time to block Dan-kaa’s incoming strike.

Hux took two steps back, sizing up the duo. It had been well over a decade since he’d trained with the twins. Either Snoke had sent them to test Ren’s mettle, or they’d come on their own, also hoping to regain favor in the eyes of their master. 

He flipped his blade and dropped into a reverse-grip stance, but kept Kylo’s extended toward the pair. Kylo’s hilt was thicker than his own, and more difficult to control with the sparking crossguards. 

“Hux,” Dan-kaa chuckled. “We didn’t expect you here.”

“Still underestimating me?” He glanced over to Kaa-dan’s droid hand and back to Dan-kaa’s violet eyes.

“Not this time,” Kaa-dan growled.

They launched themselves at him, Kaa-dan slashing toward his middle while Dan-kaa leapt overhead. 

Hux allowed the Force to guide him through a spin, anticipating each of their whirlwind strikes and ending them in a sizzle of contested energy. Under. Over. Left. Right. Left. Over. Center. The actions distinct, yet flowing into one smooth movement. He backed away again, edging closer and closer to the cave, drawing them away from Ren’s prone form.

They looked down at Ren as they stepped over him — gripping his side, coughing up blood, nearly unconscious — and back at Hux, narrowing their eyes. “He doesn’t have it,” Dan-kaa hissed.

“No,” Hux sneered, “He doesn’t.”

He flicked the lightsabers off, turned, and sprinted into the cave.

The belt of his envirosuit magnetized with a click. Hux attached the sabers and called the soul snare from his pack with the Force as he bolted past. It hovered behind him, emitting its sickly glow. Pulling the hood and mask over his head, one more click on his belt made him all but invisible in the shadowy cave. Of necessity, he’d become a master at hiding his own Force signature decades ago. Only the light of the crystal marked his path as he dodged back through the twisting caverns toward the Sith temple. 

Feet slapped against the wet rocks, echoing behind him, closing fast. Hux barreled ahead, path illuminated only by the faint light of the crystal and the sharpness of his memory. Skidding to a halt, he ducked around a corner and flung the crystal out over the gaping chasm, just in time for Dan-kaa to tumble over the edge with a blood-curdling scream. Kaa-dan stopped, arms cartwheeling for balance, teetering on the edge. Hux danced out from the darkness, ignited his saber, and skewered the hulking man. His flesh sizzled, the putrid smell filling the cavern. Hux pressed a foot to his hip, deactivated his blade, and kicked Kaa-dan over the precipice to join his sister.

He didn’t hear either of them hit, but he felt their deaths ripple through the Force. The sensation nauseated him. He pulled the crystal back and looked at it, keeping it at a respectable distance. The face inside was laughing now, though no sounds of mirth escaped the orb. Hux shivered again, and hurried back the way he’d come.

Chapter 5

Hux stood over Kylo, the temptation to leave him and claim Snoke’s favor for himself even stronger now that the bloody, mortally wounded apprentice lay at his feet. Kylo glared up at him. “You…” he snarled, hatred dripping from the word like the blood from his curled lip and clenched teeth, “You’re… Force-sensitive… How? How did I not… sense you?”

Hux only stared. Long years of torment had made him adept at hiding his abilities and intentions.

“Come to… finish me off, then? Treacherous… bastard!”

Hux’s brow pinched at the insult. He thought he was beyond caring about that, but coming from Kylo…

It hurt.

“Do you even know who I am?”

Kylo glared. His curiosity warred with his spite; Hux didn’t need the Force to sense it, Kylo had never been good at controlling his emotions. Those lips, those eyes, were far too expressive. 

“You think your legacy is the only one that matters? I may be a bastard,” he sneered, “but I’m of Palpatine’s line. I have every right to claim the throne of this lawless, chaotic galaxy. More, even, than you.”

Hux felt Kylo’s presence in the Force, sniffing around his thoughts, sensing their veracity. Hux let down his guard just enough for him to see. Ren’s eyes widened slightly as he realized the truth of it.

“I could let you die. I should.” Hux knelt beside him, reached out to sweep the blood-darkened, sweaty locks from Kylo’s eyes, and sighed, “But I’m not going to.”

Kylo’s eyes widened again. His guard went up. Hux ignored it and gently pushed Kylo onto his back, already letting the warmth flow from his hands. “For this to work, you have to trust me.” Hux frowned as Kylo scoffed, but continued nonetheless, “It means I’m trusting _you_, too. We will know things about each other that we’ve never let others see, but without lending me your strength, I can’t heal wounds this serious. Not with this damned ash interfering with our connection to the Force.” 

The tension around Kylo’s eyes relaxed, slightly. He’d sensed the same thing the moment they’d entered the planet’s atmosphere.

“Will you let me in?”

Kylo looked into his eyes for a while before nodding.

Hux arranged himself into a meditation posture and placed one hand on Kylo’s forehead, the other on his abdomen, near his worst injury. He met Kylo’s suspicion with a look of sad resignation. There were things about himself he never wanted anyone to know, least of all someone as unpredictable as Kylo Ren. But… he supposed it was only fair.

He exhaled and closed his eyes.

Born of the Light, Hux’s power, like everything else about him, had been a perpetual disappointment to his father, and later to Snoke.

It was to these feelings of anger and sorrow that Kylo first anchored his focus. Hux felt him there, blazing like a wildfire, burning his way through Hux’s defenses. But, in so doing, he opened his own heart for scrutiny. Kylo bore his own shame and feelings of inadequacy. He had never been enough for his family, either.

That connection opened a door: the spark of life that was Hux’s presence in the Force swirled around Kylo’s, drawing him inward where he would be safe while his body mended. Slivers of shattered bone pulled through ruined flesh, pieces of a macabre puzzle reuniting. With each piece that fell into place, a closeness, a collision of hearts and minds emerged.

_<He is 3 years old. His mother’s face, purpled by his father’s fist. He feels her pain. Reaches out. Warmth in his hands. She smiles. It’s all better again.>_

_<He is 2 years old. Frightened. Droid friend looks dangerous. Angry. Why? It hurts. He cries. There is a flash of light. Safety. Droid friend is friend again.>_

_<He is 4 years old. A small bird flops around in the muddy courtyard. Its wing is broken. The pain throbs in his arm as he reaches out to pick it up and soothe it. He knows what to do even without knowing what to do. There is warmth and Light in him, and he pushes it into the bird. It coos and flies away. He smiles, proud of what he’s done, but his father is frowning. A harsh slap sends him spinning into the mud.>_

_<He is 6 years old. His parents are yelling at each other in the next room. He huddles up on his bed and tries to stop the walls from shaking, but their anger and fear is so intense. He feels it in his heart and in his mind. He can hear everything they’re saying, and even the things they’re not saying. They’re afraid of what they’re doing to each other and to him. They’re afraid of HIM, the Voice whispers. He cries and cries and his toys fly off the shelves and smash into the walls.>_

_<He is 9 years old. The Supreme Leader has taught him to turn his anger at, and fear of, his father into something powerful. But, it’s not enough. It’s never enough. His abilities are neither wanted, nor needed, by anyone but himself. He can fight. He’s proven that much. But, Master has told him that physical abilities matter little in the grand scheme of things. He can’t stop feeling the aches of the injured, even from those he’s wounded himself. He can’t stop feeling the pain of failure, or the results of it when he returns home to his inebriated father at the end of the day. There is another boy on his knees before him, older and better trained, but a failure, like him. If he wants to prove himself, he knows what he has to do. He ignites the saber he made. It’s a failure, too, the crystal only half-bled into a reddish-orange. Master says he hasn’t suffered enough, hasn’t truly learned what pain can do for him, but its power thrums through his skinny arm, nonetheless. He pretends its the energy that makes him tremble. He closes his eyes, slashes downward before he can think about what he’s doing. He doesn’t see the boy’s head hit the floor, but he feels the searing agony in his neck and the blast of terror in his heart, and he hears the dull thud as it falls to the deck and rolls away. Master chuckles and praises him. It feels wrong. Sickening. But, it feels good, too. This is POWER, Master says.>_

_<He is 11 years old. His father has just come home from another long absence. They’re getting longer and longer the older he gets. The Voice is right: his father fears him. He doesn’t want to be around him. He’s the reason he stays away. His mother makes some snide comment and they’re off again, arguing in hushed tones that they think he won’t hear, but he FEELS it. He hears everything. And the Voice is much louder and more insistent about the things he should do to stop it… but he can’t do that. So, he runs away. He’ll be in trouble for it, but he doesn’t care. He goes to his usual hiding place in a cave near the beach. He takes off his boots. The sand is still warm from the sun. He sits in the cave for a while, listening to the spray, feeling the salt speckle his cheeks. There is a sound. He senses the flare of pain even before he hears the wounded animal. He climbs gingerly down the sharp, slippery rocks and sees a sandflapper caught in the jaws of a manytooth. Other sandflappers bellow in distress, but make no move to help. He feels their fear and pain, but they won’t DO anything. Some of them start to leave. Anger wells up in him. Why would they give up on their family when they need their help the most? Red flashes in his vision. He feels their shock and agony as he crushes them with the Force. Bones snap. Flesh rips. Strangled cries echo all around him. He’s screaming, too. When he comes to, they’re all lying in a mess, blood and entrails seeping into the sand, washing away in the crimson foam that laps at the beach. He’s killed them ALL. Predator, prey, attacker, victim, mothers, fathers… cubs. It feels wrong. Sickening. But, it feels good, too. This is POWER, the Voice says.>_

_<He is 12 years old. It’s his second week in the academy. Things are quieter here — more studying, less fighting — but the backstabbing and intrigue are just as vicious. In communications theory class, Major Kindan is looking at him again. He doesn’t like the way his teacher watches him sometimes, when he thinks he isn’t looking. It’s like the way Snoke looked at him, when he was appraising his skills, but fouler, somehow. It makes him feel… unclean. Kindan asks him to stay after class. Tells him to take off his tunic and his undershirt. Fear streaks through him. He’s going to be punished for something, but he hasn’t done anything wrong. He reaches out with his senses — he’s not supposed to do that anymore — and realizes that’s not what Kindan wants. The arousal, the hot desire he feels radiating toward him makes his stomach clench. Kindan puts a callused hand on his shoulder, slowly slides it down his still-skinny arm, pulls him closer. He feels sick. He could stop this. He _wants_ to stop this. But, Snoke has forbidden him to ever use his powers again. He failed his Master, and this is his last chance to prove his worth. He doesn’t want to die, like the others. So, he stands still, trembling, enduring. He closes his eyes. A tear falls.>_

_<He is 14 years old. His parents are yelling again, but this time, they’re yelling at him as much as they are each other. They want to know why he did it. Why he put his best friend in the hospital. Why he’s always so angry and violent and out of control. He’s told them, so many times. It’s the Voice. It’s always there. But, they won’t listen. His father doesn’t believe him. His mother, only partially. He’s just put up with it so long, it’s a part of him now. Maybe they’re right and it is just him. Maybe he’s just worthless, born wrong… evil. Not wrong, the Voice says. Right. Perfect. He doesn’t know what to believe. So, he stands still, listening, hurting. He closes his eyes. He won’t cry in front of them.> _

_<He is 16 years old. He serves on the _Finalizer_, the fleet’s newest and deadliest flagship. He’s been a junior lieutenant for almost a year now, the youngest graduate the academies have ever seen. He’s earned his place. Still, no one praises him. No one appreciates the things he had to go through to get where he is now. They all think he cheated. They think his father gave him his early commission and his position. His father never gave him anything but practice in healing all of the various ways a child could be broken. But, it doesn’t matter. He is proud of himself. He’ll show them all.>_

  


_<He is 15 years old. His Uncle Luke has come to take him away from his friends and his family. Who is he kidding? He doesn’t have any friends — not anymore — and he scoffs at the thought of family. Still, he doesn’t want to go. He wants to go with his dad, racing through the stars, feeling that momentary freedom that only flying can grant. The Voice tells him this is all part of the plan. He will go with Luke, train with Luke, become more powerful than Luke. Then they’ll all see. They’ll be sorry they never listened to him.>_

_<He is 24 years old. His father floats in a tank before him, bloated and distended, but still there. Still conscious enough to feel pain and fear. He reaches out with his senses and smiles as his father’s anguish and terror wash over him. But there is still a cold current of disappointment under it all, a snide disapproval despite everything he’s done. He grits his teeth, rallies his anger and speaks his mind into what’s left of his father’s. *No, YOU are the failure. I survived. I survived it all. And, someday, I will be the one in charge. I deserve this. I’ve earned it. No one would even remember your name if it weren’t mine, too.* He pulls back again and stays to watch until his father swells and bursts like a child’s overinflated balloon. Now, he is free.>_

_<He is 23 years old. The Jedi temple is in flames. His own hut smolders at his feet. Somewhere inside, his uncle is dying. He deserves it for his betrayal. The Voice was right all along. They all fear him. They’re all just jealous of his power. And he knows the truth of his blood now, the truth of his right to rule over all of them. Over everything. The few he’s allowed to survive kneel before him. They will be the first to serve him. The Voice is calling, stronger than ever. He will take them to his master. His “master” for now. He suspects — no, he _knows_ — that he is stronger, even, than the Voice. Someday he will kill the Voice and take his place as the rightful ruler of the galaxy. But, for now, he will wait. He will learn. Now, he is free.>_

Hux pulled his hands back and clutched at his stomach. Kylo’s pain, his pain, dizzied and nauseated him. Healing complete, Kylo would remain unconscious for at least a few minutes more. It was just as good; Hux didn’t want him to see, or comment, as he dragged himself off to a rocky outcropping and vomited. The healing had sapped his energy, but Hux felt a stirring of pride that he’d been able to pull it off after so long. He’d continued to train, in secret, the older he became, and had made a game of destroying Snoke’s apprentices without being caught. One by one, they’d all met with fateful “accidents” while off on remote missions. He was still determined to prove himself, and to take his rightful place at his master’s side.

Until this mess of a man came along.

Hux swished some water around to clear the acrid taste from his mouth, spit, and wiped his lips clean. He watched Kylo for a while, letting the rhythm of his breath calm and refocus him. He might regret having healed him, but this felt like the will of the Force. At least, he could tell himself that and not have to worry that he actually cared about this selfish man-child. Kylo was infuriating, but… somehow he brought out the best in Hux. He’d rekindled his sense of competition, reminded him of his own strength and prowess. Hux was formidable on his own, but together… Together they really could accomplish anything. 

Hux hadn’t realized just how much they’d both suffered, how much they’d shared, how alike they really were, no matter how much he wished he could deny it. 

He _did_ care for Ren.

And… he was fairly certain that Kylo felt the same.


End file.
